Emotional and Mental Preparation for Prostate Massage

Working with the energy of the prostate is no casual endeavor. Exploring this hidden treasure trove of pleasure evokes powerful sensations, releases tension and trauma stored in the pelvic floor, and enables a unique and intense orgasm, whether through external or internal massage.

Many men intuitively massage the perineum—the area between the scrotum and rectum—while masturbating, stimulating the prostate gland externally. This can allow simultaneous prostate and penile orgasms. Likewise, stimulating the prostate directly through internal massage or “prostate milking” is a pleasurable experience that can lead to prostate orgasm.

The p-spot orgasm is more more powerful than the penile orgasm, as it involves 12 muscles as opposed to 4-8. Unlike the recovery period after a penile orgasm, prostate orgasms require less “down time,” potentially allowing for multiple orgasms.

However, p-spot orgasms are not a foregone conclusion with prostate massage. Initially, internal prostate massage may feel uncomfortable, awkward, or even slightly painful, requiring a gentle approach, patience, and practice. Not every man will enjoy having his prostate massaged internally. Tension and resistance at the onset of the massage are a natural bodily response, though this usually subsides within a few minutes.

In the many years I’ve performed prostate massage, most clients enjoy the experience and increased intensity of the orgasm(s) they have when combined with lingham massage. In my sessions, penile and prostate orgasms typically occur simultaneously, whereas p-spot orgasms happen less frequently and usually among those who’ve explored the prostate regularly and who are well-versed in their body’s unique response to stimulation of the prostate gland.

If you feel called to seek out prostate massage or have already been experimenting with anal play, you’re likely going to have a positive experience. Middle-aged men who have an enlarged prostate and frequent urination also find relief with prostate milking and a reduction in swelling.

Alternatively, men looking for a quick fix to unhealthy or insecure relationship to their body and sexuality will likely be disappointed.

I recently received an inquiry from a gentleman seeking what he called “the elusive prostate orgasm." This mindset is the opposite of the mindful approach to sexual exploration I teach, as it posits that the source of our pleasure is external, capricious, and hard to reach. If we believe such things, we will indeed experience them as such. Not to mention, the idea that our source of pleasure is outside us is entirely false.

For women and men alike, orgasms—whether penile, vaginal, cervical, or prostate—are experienced only to the degree that we allow ourselves to receive and feel worthy of love, and thus feel comfortable surrendering to the ecstasy our bodies are capable of experiencing. Safety within oneself, along with self-acceptance and confidence are fudamental to great sexual experiences.

Fancy gadgets and skilled professionals can’t overcome the limiting beliefs that block our ability to receive and embody our capacity to feel pleasure. If we harbor fears of inadequacy, shame, and unworthiness stored in the subconscious mind, these beliefs will play in our body’s response to touch, no matter how masterful.

In preparation for your prostate massage, I encourage you to go within. Ponder the following questions as you prepare the experience:

• What is my sponsoring intention for this experience?

• What are my expectations?

• What do I hope to gain?

• Why now?

As with any session, bring your questions and concerns up prior to meeting. Schedule a 30-min consult if you’re not sure about the type of experience that will best support your growth and transformation or if you have more questions about prostate massage.